|The Great Gospel of John|
The disciples search for the Lord (23/23)
[10.41.1] Then we watched the different phenomena of the morning, I explained them to the captain who was extremely grateful for that and was very surprised, for many things of the old mythical elements of the imaginative heathendom from his early youth were still hidden in him, of which he could not fully rid himself in one moment.
[10.41.2] But what happened in the mean time in our Jewish inn this morning?
[10.41.3] When My disciples woke up and were missing Me, as also the innkeeper with his family, they all became afraid and seriously wondered whereto I could have gone all alone this morning, and why.
[10.41.4] Peter said: "But you know that, as long as we are with Him, He always used to go outside every morning before sunrise. He surely will come back at the right time. So let us not be anxiously worried about Him."
[10.41.5] On this, James said: "Although you are right, but I also know better than anyone of you – since I was always near to Him from His childhood and went along with Him – that He also sometimes likes to hide Himself for a short time from those who are His loved ones, and that He then likes to see when they will seriously search for Him, will find Him and will express their great joy about that when they found Him back. So we also should search for Him this time, and very zealously."
[10.41.6] Now also Judas Iscariot wanted to make a controversial remark, but John sharply interrupted him immediately with the words: "You were, are and remain a disciple of Him who still did not absorb a spark of the spirit of truth. You are for the greatest part an imagined sage and with this you are lying to yourself and to many others. So you better keep quiet and let those speak who want to speak in His Spirit and who can do that through His mercy."
[10.41.7] Then the rebuked disciple did not say anything anymore and went alone outside where he met a few Jews who asked him if I was in the house and what I was doing.
[10.41.8] But the disciple said: "Go and search for Him yourselves, for I did not receive any command to tell anyone anything about Him."
[10.41.9] Then the disciple went further and watched the old city of which the houses were mostly built with black pieces of basalt, for there was little wood available in this environment for construction.
[10.41.10] The disciples who stayed in the house, discussed further with each other as to what they should do. They finally all agreed with James and wanted to search for Me.
[10.41.11] But a servant of the captain – but not the one who saw Me early in the morning walking before the house of the captain, but one that was sent by his daughter – asked for Me and the captain to know if he was perhaps with Me, since he left the house very early and very hurriedly. But this servant could not receive any information from the disciples.
[10.41.12] Then James said: "Hey, it is as if a flash of lightning went through my soul now. Since the captain left the house so early, he saw the Lord walking and he followed Him. One of his servants will know in which direction he saw him leaving the house. Let us go there, then good news will be given to us."
[10.41.13] After these words of James, they all stood up and went to the house of the captain. There they soon met the servant who was on guard and he told them in which direction he saw Me and then also the captain going.
[10.41.14] When the disciples and also the innkeeper heard that, they went immediately further in the same direction and came soon on the spot outside of the city where I was together with the captain.
[10.41.15] But since I and the captain were sitting on a block of basalt of which the back side hid us, those who searched did not see us that quickly.
[10.41.16] But James said: "Let us now go upon this rocky height, for from there we surely will be able to see far and from there we certainly will see the Lord walking somewhere."
[10.41.17] Then they all climbed up, and when they came completely on top, they soon saw Me and the captain.
[10.41.18] They all were very happy to have found Me. Only Simon Judah walked towards Me and said with a friendly face: "But Lord and Master, look, we were anxious and sad because we did not know where You had gone this morning. If You would have told us something about it, we all would have gone with You at once as we always do and we would not have had to worry about You. We ask You not to do this again to us in this environment that is strange for us, but if You would like to go somewhere alone according to Your wisdom, then tell us to stay alone, then we certainly will never go against Your holy will. For look, we love You above all, and therefore we become worried when only for a few moments we do not know where You are and what You do."
[10.41.19] I said: "Come now, I would have told you if I would not have known beforehand that you would search for Me and certainly find Me. Besides, it did not harm any of you that I have strengthened your love for Me again. But I had to do something alone with this new friend and so I walked alone to this place.
[10.41.20] This city and its environment will be a refuge for those who believe in Me at the time of the great humiliation of Jerusalem, as I already pointed out to you, and that is why already now a good foundation has to be laid here for a strong community in My name by this friend who has authority over many gentiles. And with this you know now also why I wanted to be completely alone with the captain.
[10.41.21] But if My absence of only a few moments made you now already so worried, then what will you do when I will leave you with My body for a longer time?"
[10.41.22] Simon Judah said again: "Lord and Master, we well know what You want to say to us by that. If it must be so according to Your decree, we will bear Your absence, which will be very sad for us, in the hope that all the other things that You have revealed to us will also most certainly be fulfilled. But that no one of us wants to be close to that time, this You can read in our hearts. But always only Your will be done."
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